The fear of forgetting. Of forgetting your memory, of forgetting your touch, smell, laugh…everything. I  thought this day would come a lot later in my life, like when I reach 50 or something. I can’t believe that I am slowly losing you. What am I supposed to do about this. It’s not like I can say “come back from the dead.” And then regain all the memories back. It’s like I can recall a memory, but the details of some of them were gone. Today I went to go to Valley of the Temples, and  we just so happened to run into NJ’s mom there. We were talking for a while, and it was great. The mom asked me if I remembered the first time NJ drove me, because I had told her that I am going to take Drivers Ed soon. And then I was trying to remember, so hard, that my brain was going to blow up; but I just couldn’t remember. And I just cried… I didn’t want this to happen to me. When NJ passed, I promised to forever keep memories and everything within me, alive. But I am sorry NJ, I failed to keep that promise. I don’t know why this is happening to me, why I am forgetting. Is it because I am human? I could believe so. But that still isn’t an excuse for me. It feels that the hole within my heart just grew deeper. And I am barely hanging on.